ONE MAN’S FOOD BY TREASURE EZURUIKE PT.1

ONE MAN’S FOOD BY TREASURE EZURUIKE PT.1

I know I messed up moving in with a man that never married me. 

I know I ought to have left after the first child, but I was deceived by people who say it’s good to have all your children for one man.

See where it has left me, with three children and 8 years of my life I’ll never get back.

He has kept making false promises of marriage. 

Every day he moved the date of our marriage forward.

I met my ex at 18. I was fresh out of secondary school. I wasn’t involved with any man.

I wasn’t interested in a relationship and headed to the university. 

He still didn’t go away, professing his love for me and promising to take care of me.

My parents warned me but I didn’t listen to them. 

I listened to my friends instead who said that 18 – 25 years of age is the peak period for women.

 

I was 23 when I got pregnant. Immediately Matt’s attitude and behavior towards me changed. 

My parents were so disappointed in me. Still, they insisted I come home so they took care of me.

Matt insisted I stay with him as he was the father of the baby. I listened to him and stayed with him.

His family members mistreated me during my pregnancy. All the promises Matt made to me evaporated.

READ-: SEE FINISH EPISODE 19

That’s when they get the most interest and advances from men.

They told me to take advantage of the attention because soon it’ll stop once I turn 26.

Mum debunked all those claims telling me she suffered the most heartbreak in her 20s and made the most mistakes until she met Dad when she turned 30.

Dad was nothing like all the men she had met and looking at mum and Dad made me want to get married.

The way he treated her was any woman’s dream. He adored her and worshipped the ground she walked on.

He didn’t make her feel insecure. He placed no woman above her. It was mum or no one else.

I wanted a man to love me like that. Dad added his voice to mum’s voice but I still wasn’t convinced.

I told my friends and they told me that mum came from a different era where women suffered and smiled.

I listened to them and began a relationship with Matt. He treated me well at the beginning. 

I hid the relationship from my parents until I got pregnant during the National Youth Service Corps year when I moved in with him.

I didn’t want to but he ensured I served in the state where he resided and ensured my place of primary assignment was in the city where he worked.

He insisted I move in with him to save the cost of accommodation.

My parents frowned at it but I didn’t listen. I was 23 when I got pregnant.

READ-: SEE FINISH EPISODE 20

Immediately Matt’s attitude and behavior towards me changed. 

My parents were so disappointed in me. Still, they insisted I come home so they took care of me.

Matt insisted I stay with him as he was the father of the baby. I listened to him and stayed with him.

His family members mistreated me during my pregnancy.

All the promises Matt made to me evaporated. He became a different person. He physically and verbally abused me, instigated by his family.

I gave birth to our first child and my mum came to look after me.

Matt and his family disrespected her but she tolerated it all for me. That’s when I should have left but I didn’t.

I heard that it’s wrong to have children with different men.

If you leave now your first child would be out of place, he’ll never be recognized in his father’s house.

Stay back and make it work. That’s what marriage is all about. 

If you leave now, when you get married, your husband won’t accept your son.

You would have to send him to live with your parents, is that what you want?

To deny your first fruit of your motherly love and let him be raised by your mum?

All those thoughts rang in my head until I decided to stay back.

A few months later I was pregnant again. I gave birth to my daughter and one year later I got pregnant with our son.

I decided to opt for family planning after that without Matt’s knowledge because I didn’t want to have any more children when my bride price had not been paid.

I spoke to Matt after our first son was born about the need to pay my bride price.

He said he will but got me pregnant again and used that as an excuse to stall.

When I gave birth to our daughter he began to blow hot and cold until he got me pregnant again.

After the birth of our second son, I decided to prevent any further pregnancy as that was his excuse.

When I wasn’t getting pregnant he looked for other excuses.

Today he has a building project to complete.

Tomorrow someone died in the village and he was the chief mourner and main financier.

He had a business deal to complete after that we would get married. There was always one excuse or the other.

One day I confronted him to collect the list at least to show commitment.

That day my heart was shattered, he told me he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t his specification.

To be continued.

READ- : SEE FINISH EPISODE 21

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© Treasure Ezuruike