LOOK AT HER MOTHER A SHORT STORY BY TREASURE EZURUIKE

LOOK AT HER MOTHER BY TREASURE EZURUIKE

Ever heard the saying if you want to know how your wife would act or treat you, look at her mother?

Well, it’s not always true. It’s funny how women are not told to look at the fathers of men they are in a relationship with to tell how they would act in the future.

It’s just women who are like sponges and soak up all their mother’s bad characters.

Men have the discerning power to sieve the traits of their father that they inherit.

My husband-to-be left me, I think the appropriate word should be broken off the engagement after visiting my family home.

My mum is a quiet woman but she had been turned into a talkative because of my father.

She had become so aggressive and bitter. Most times I walked in on her talking to herself.

Men don’t become their fathers, right? Your father is a chronic womanizer.

You said it yourself. You found it difficult taking me to your family house because you were afraid he would poach me like he did your other girlfriend.

Did I judge you by your father’s behavior? No, but here you are judging me by my mother’s behavior.

The day my fiance visited she was having one of those episodes with Dad. Dad had no regard for her.

He did whatever he liked. His family members talked to her in any way they liked. His family members beat mum up so many times and Dad did nothing about it.

Why Mum stayed is what I don’t understand. The marriage was too toxic that I expected her to leave.

Even as young as 10 I could tell she was unhappy, no matter how she tried to hide it.

The day I visited home with Kelvin mum’s sister-in-law had slapped her because she didn’t attend a certain family event.

Mum refused to go because she didn’t want to be turned into a servant. Gradually she was beginning to realize she deserved better.

She lost her temper and fought with her sister-in-law and Dad Joined hands to beat her. We walked in on mum exchanging words with Dad and abusing him.

Called him a useless man and other unprintable names. Kelvin didn’t leave but spoke to Dad who told him so many lies about mum.

He warned me to be sure he truly wanted to marry me because I’ll turn out exactly like mum if he didn’t have money.

He told him mum was insulting him because he had no money. He failed to tell him that he had driven her crazy by mistreating her.

He wasn’t faithful. He would bring women home and order my mum to serve the both of them. Sometimes he would ask her to leave the house when he brought them home.

Kelvin’s body language changed while we were leaving. I expected him to ask me questions or confirm the things my Dad had told him but he didn’t.

I didn’t hear from him for a month after that visit. He was unreachable. One day I received a text message saying he had broken up the engagement. He didn’t want to marry a woman like my mother who would be insulting him.

Insulting him how I asked? Do you know why my mum acted that way?

Your father told me everything, he said. Everything my Dad told you is a lie. I expected better from you. I expected you to ask me.

I’m no longer interested in the relationship because women eventually become their mothers.

Men don’t become their fathers, right? Your father is a chronic womanizer. You said it yourself. You found it difficult taking me to your family house because you were afraid he would poach me like he did your other girlfriend.

Did I judge you by your father’s behavior? No, but here you are judging me by my mother’s behavior.

May what befell my mum not befall any of your sisters In marriage because if it does they would be worse than my mum.

It’s fine, you want to end the relationship fine. Thank you for wasting my time.

Kelvin went on to start another relationship immediately like she was waiting in the shadows.

He flaunted her on social media. I Unfriended him and moved on. In 1 year I heard they were married.

6 months later they had a baby together. I found out as a mutual friend was tagged to the post announcing the birth of his baby girl.

Mum left Dad because of me. Hearing that my engagement was broken off because of the lies he told to my ex-fiance broke her and she finally left.

Mum had 8 of us with Dad. I was the only girl and the 8th child. Mum confided in me that she went the whole 9 yards because she wanted a baby girl.

It surprised me why mum would have 8 children. She was educated and exposed. She knew better than that.

She told me she had no idea Dad had no value for women until she married him and started to have children. 

He told her he wanted 10 boys and no girls. Mum didn’t complain, she decided to stop at 5 if she had a girl in-between.

She continued to 8 until she had me. She told me Dad wanted her to get rid of me when they found out it was a girl they were having.

Mum had to make so much noise and report the case to their religious leader before Dad backed down.

But he swore to have nothing to do with me and he kept his words. Even though mum tried to cover up I knew Dad hated me and didn’t care about my existence.

He wanted mum to have more children till he had 10 boys but mum said she was done and it led to a serious rift.

I often sat alone thinking about Dad. He had no value for women. Women were nothing, yet he needed a woman to give him 10 boys.

If all women are eliminated then who would give birth to the next generation of men of value?

Who would men marry? Their fellow-men? Mum paid my way through school even though she made me believe it was Dad.

I wasn’t blind, I could see how much he despised me.

Mum left with me, she said I was her only consolation. My brothers didn’t care about her plight.

They felt superior to her. Dad sold that belief system to them. My failed engagement hurt me because I thought I would get married and leave that toxic environment.

I felt mum was waiting for that same reason. I came back home often to check on mum.

Dad reported me to my brother’s and blamed me for the reason mum left.

My brothers called me asking me to apologize. Apologize for what? Dad lied to my ex-finance and he broke up the engagement.

Yet here you are asking me to apologize. Dad threatened to ensure I didn’t get married except I ask mum to return to him.

Mum hissed when she heard it. Dad had no idea how I despised him. He threatened not to let me get married.

He wasn’t even worthy of my bride price. He never spent a dime on me. He threatened not to bless me.

What would I do with his blessings? I often wonder why so much noise is made about a father’s blessings before marriage.

Emphasis should be laid on good fathers whose blessings matter, not the fathers who never catered to their daughters.

My father’s blessings meant nothing to me. I didn’t care about it. If only he knew. All Dad’s family members supported him, except one.

He was my uncle who supported my mother. I complained to him about my brothers and he calmed me down. 

I told him how I didn’t want Dad involved in my marriage. It was him I wanted because he was more like a father to me than Dad.

I was bitter towards Dad but was still willing to let him be part of my marriage but after the stunt with Kelvin, I changed my mind.

Uncle Preston asked me to calm down. If your father died it would hurt you, you don’t hate him that mum.

Dad and I have no relationship, if he died it won’t matter to me, I told him. Let go of this hatred he said to me.

I never cared about Dad, I could not care less about someone who wasn’t concerned about my welfare.

Dad became bitter after mum left. His family asked him to forget about her. He deserves better and could marry another wife.

A few women were recommended for him but they left after a few months. Dad got depressed and died 2 years after mum left him.

Mum and I had no idea he had died and no one told us. Not even my brothers and my uncle.

Dad was buried shortly after he died without mum’s knowledge. Even uncle Preston didn’t tell us.

He apologized to mum on his knees saying he was sworn to secrecy. What kind of useless secrecy is that my mum asked.

She severed ties with him after that. She almost cursed all my brothers but I begged her on my knees.

My brothers’ defense for not telling us was that both of us were responsible.

Why would Dad mistreat mum if he knew she played an important part in his life?

If she took care of him and increased his quality of life why didn’t he treat her better I asked my elder brothers.

They had no response for me but I knew my question struck a nerve.

We were told that after mum left abs and the women recommended for Dad left. He sank into depression.

His family members didn’t care, they cared only about the money he gave them. As long as it was flowing all was well.

No one checked if Dad took his meds or even had meds as mum would do.

One day they arrived and the gateman told them Dad had not come out that morning.

They called him on the phone and he didn’t pick up. They banged the door and he didn’t open up.

Finally, they broke the door to gain entrance only to meet him dead and so stiff meaning it had been a long time he died probably around 3 am.

He died from complications of high blood pressure. His leeches only cared about the money he gave them not his welfare.

Our family was torn to shreds after Dad was buried without us. Mum refused to attend the marriage of one of my elder brothers after that incident. She moved away from everyone except me.

Two years later I met Jason. Things moved fast between us because I was honest about everything going on in my life and he did the same.

One year later we got married. One of my brothers stood in for my Dad. It was not a happy event as my mum never said any word to any of her sons.

The event ended without any fanfare. I was grateful to have the ceremony which none of my brothers attended but I didn’t care.

After the event, Jason prepared documents to take my mum and me abroad. I left the shores of the country for good and I was relieved to be taking mum along.

A few months after I had settled down abroad I received a message request on Facebook messenger.

I clicked on it and was shocked to read so you unfriended me. Anyway, I forgive you.

The greatest mistake I made was ending our engagement. I regret this woman I married who has given me only female children.

I just sent her packing as she gave birth to a set of twin girls making it 4 girls. What would I do with them?

Please I’m very sorry for kicking you to the curb it was your father who scared me away.

Please I need you to give me male children. Please tell me you are still single. I responded I’m sorry I’m married. Immediately he responded, married to who? I don’t approve.

Where are you I need to meet you? Abroad I responded with my husband. How dare you he yelled. I blocked him immediately.

I updated my Facebook profile with my husband’s photo and uploaded our marriage photos.

I knew it would get to him. He opened another account to reign curses on me which I blocked.

I had a baby a few months later, a boy. I had two other boys before having two girls. I had to deal with my hatred for my father and brother.

Sadly I couldn’t talk to Dad. I reached out to my brothers on the advice of my husband. My mum refused to speak to them.

She was deeply hurt by them and Dad. I continue to pray that mum changes her mind.

It’s important to judge people individually not as a group because of individual differences. People must not turn out like their parents…

© Treasure Ezuruike