Verdict Episode 123

Chikezie said hope you won’t be offended big sis, but I think you should tell mum about Gozie. I believe you should tell her because she’ll be expecting some information and you know mum if you tell her it didn’t work out she won’t accept that.

She’ll keep pushing until she finds out so save yourself the stress and just tell her. I believe it’ll help you heal and unburden your heart. Look sis you are over burdened with emotion. Please you need to make peace.

Tell mum about everything and she’ll guide you and help you to make the best decision. Just tell her and she will be there for you like she’s always been. Sis please I’m pleading with you. Ij said where is this coming from? Kezie said from your brother’s loving heart. I’m just worried about you. You smile but it’s not from your heart and I miss your bubbly personality.

Ij said okay let me think about it. Kezie said and there’s one other thing, hope you won’t be offended. I think you should forgive Chigozie. I didn’t say get back with him but forgive him for your own good. You are very bitter so I believe you should forgive him. If you don’t want to sit down with him and talk. Unblock him and send him a text message telling him you’ve forgiven him, I’m sure you’ll sleep well at night if you do.

I know the things he said on social media are very bad and damaging for our family but you can still choose to forgive him. Big sis forgiveness is a choice and you can choose to forgive whatever you choose to forgive no matter how difficult it may seem.

Ij said I don’t know why you are telling me this but thank you. The thing is that I don’t know how to tell mum. She will be so disappointed because she held him in high esteem. How do I begin to explain to her the things he said about our family, I don’t know where to start from? Kezie said just tell her, open up to her and let what would happen, happen.

At some point you need to take some time and remember your father for whom he is, ask yourself what he’ll approve of. Ask yourself will he want me to throw my life away and add more pain to my mum’s hurt? How about my brother? How has my holding unto my dad’s death affected my relationship with my brother and my family?

Look sis you’ve carried the burden of the hurt of Dad’s death in your heart for like forever. I won’t say I don’t miss him but do you think Dad would have wanted to hold you back for this long if he could talk to you? Now you’ve added Gozie’s hurt to Dad’s own. Please big sis I want you to be happy, to smile like you did when I just visited.

You were happy but now I can’t describe your emotions. Ij said thank you. I’ll think about it. Kezie said you know I could call mum on your behalf and fill her in. Ij said please don’t. If I decide to call, I’ll call her myself.

Ij said so from visiting me we are now roommates? Kezie said but sis I said it depends on how comfy your apartment is, and mehn it’s so comfy so I’m still considering if I’ll become your neighbor or roommate.

Kezie said that reminds me we may have a new neighbor, a guy actually. He came to look at the free apartments here and honestly I’m excited. As your new roommate I could do with some company. The guy has swag and i could do with a friend in this city. You know I’m looking for greener pastures and this city may hold better opportunities so please let me be your roommate.

Chika said information minister. In fact I should talk to Chuks to see if he could get you connection to a job in a radio station. Kezie said are you serious? Ij said yes I’m serious but I’m not promising anything. Ij said but please be careful because I don’t want you to get into trouble here especially as you are new in town.

Kezie said no problem sis, I’m here to protect you not the other way around. Ij said I hear you. I don’t want to explain anything to mum. Kezie said thank you for being so understanding. I was so scared that you won’t grant me any audience but I’m so relieved we had this talk as I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Ij said when did I become scar?. Kezie said well you never know.

Chuks called Ij again and said you said you’ll think about seeing a therapist, so what have you decided? Ij said well coincidentally Chikezie has been on my case to let go so I think I should consider it. I know my brother once he gets on my case he’ll never stop until he gets what he wants and the truth is I don’t have the strength to argue with him.

Chuks said great then. Thank you. The name of the therapist is Chidinma, she’s female. I’ll have her call you so you can reach an agreement. Don’t worry about the financial aspect, I’ll see to that. I just want the smiling Ij back. Ij said well thank you. I haven’t officially congratulated you on your expectant daddy status.

Chuks said sorry excuse me. Ij said I mean being a daddy to be. Chuks said oh you know? Ij said yes I do and I’m congratulating you officially because Chika told me. Chuks said oh she did. Well thank you. Ij said so how are you holding up? Chuks said I’m taking it one day at a time.

Ij said and your wife? Chuks said I feel for her. She’s really miserable and honestly I miss my wife and her drama. I preferred the other drama to this one. She can’t help herself and I can’t help her and it’s driving me crazy.

She just lies down on the bed all day. She’s in the house but I’m lonely, but hey it’s one of the perks of pregnancy. We want a baby and we’ve got one, I’m just worried about her food aversions. She barely ate before, now church agbasala. She doesn’t eat anything and she has these very strange cravings every single day.

The other day she was craving for roasted corn and pear, I mean ube. Ij said excuse me, but it’s not in season. Chuks said my sister the pregnancy doesn’t want to know. I had to improvise with pop corn and avocado. The pop corn was vehemently rejected; thank God the avocado could fly.

I’m just getting started but I can’t wait for it to be over, I wish we were having multiples because I’m thinking of Chika going through this again. I mean I love children but the process of pregnancy is just so stressful for women. We men get stressed but not like women.

Ij said it’s an experience you will savor so enjoy it. I’m sure you’ll miss it when it’s over. Just let me know how to help If need be. Chuks said well we’ve got domestic staff, though they don’t live here. As it stands they cook just my own meals and do other chores so Chika can rest.

I’m worried about her job though, I wish she could suspend it until this nauseous phase is over. Ij said well she’s a strong woman no matter what we think, she’ll get through it but she’s beautiful though, it looks good on her. Chuks said you are extremely funny, it’s nice having this conversation with you, it’s a breath of fresh air after all that has happened. Ij said I could say the same thing. Thank you for lifting my mood. Have a great evening, Chuks said you too.

Chuks hung up and called Chidinma to tell her that Ij was game so she could call her. Chidinma called Ij after Chuks forwarded her number. She introduced herself and said Chukwuka said something about a hurt that’s holding you back.

So I just want you to know I’m available if you ever want to talk about it. You could decide what works for you. Since you have a busy job I would suggest we chat at night and meet in person if absolutely necessary so I don’t have to stress you.

Just know you could reach out to me at anytime. Ij said okay thank you for the great reception. I believe chatting or video calls would work for me so I know who I’m talking to and take non verbal cues into account. Chidinma said that is better idea, so thank you for bringing it up.

Chidinma said tell me about yourself and your family. Ij said I’m a banker in one of the commercial banks in the city. I come from a family of four if you include my dad but now we are just three. My mum, my brother Chikezie and I.

Chidinma said now tell me what is the one thing that has stopped you from getting closure? Ij said the thought that if I do my dad will no longer exist. I never accepted that he was murdered and is gone. I still believe that one day he’ll call me and say he was kidnapped or was in jail and just got out or he lost his memory and just regained it and remember he has a daughter called Ijeoma.

I just fear getting closure will finally separate me from my father. Chidinma said so that’s why the therapy didn’t work? You didn’t want to let go? Ij said why should I? My dad was my everything.

He was a loving father. I can’t believe I’m talking about him in past tense. He was everything to me. I dreamt of meeting a man like him and just falling in love with him, sadly I never met one till that gruesome incident.

Chidinma said but do you believe if your dad could speak to you again, he’ll be happy with what you are doing? Putting your life on hold like this? Ij said have you ever lost someone so prematurely? Chidinma said yes my husband to be.

He was knocked down by a car in front of my apartment when he just got out of the car when he came to visit me. I watched it happen so you can imagine how I felt but then again we just met 6 months prior to the incident so I can’t compare it to you and your father.

13 years of love and bonding but still holding on to a hurt like that is really unhealthy. Ij said I’m sorry about your loss. Chidinma said no worries. I can imagine how it has eaten deep into the fabrics of your life, your relationships.

Expecting every man you meet to be like your father is being unfair to yourself and them. Forgive me for pushing but 10 years is a long time to throw away and sadly you can’t get it back. I’ll love to speak to your other family members maybe do a group video call. I’ll love to get some perspective especially from your mum.

You know watching my husband to be breath his last in my arms is not something I’ll never wish even someone I dislike to the fullest. It cut like a knife; I almost went crazy and went into depression. I had to go to therapy to get my life back.

I hoped I’ll meet someone that will tell me it was his clone who died not him. That he was seen somewhere with another woman. I didn’t care if he would be cheating on me but he would be alive.

Well at some point I had to tell myself the truth. He was dead and gone and buried too.I knew he wasn’t coming back and I also knew he won’t approve of me putting my life on hold. He was not a selfish person.

At some point you need to take some time and remember your father for whom he is, ask yourself what he’ll approve of. Ask yourself will he want me to throw my life away and add more pain to my mum’s hurt? How about my brother? How has my holding unto my dad’s death affected my relationship with my brother and my family?

Chidinma said I’ve not met you in person but Chukwuka speaks quite highly of you so I’m hoping we can make progress. I think I’ve said enough for today. I’ll let you ponder on all we’ve talked about. I hope you get the closure you so desire. Ij said thank you and good night.

As Ij hung up she started to cry. She said Daddy I miss you. I wish you could just show up now. Daddy are you really gone? How can I let go and never see you again? Who is going to protect and guide me? She cried herself to sleep.

Chika woke up in the middle of the night and was craving roasted yam and plantain. She didn’t want to bother Chuks because she knew he couldn’t get her what she needed by 2am.As she got out of bed, Chuks woke up and said baby what is it? Chika said Chukwuka nothing. I just can’t sleep. Chuks said Chika please what is it?

You can’t just get out of bed. Chika said I’m hungry and craving what isn’t available now. Chuks said what is it? Chika said roasted yam and plantain. Chuks said goodness gracious by 2am? Chika said that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Chuks said so what’s going to happen now? Chika said I’ll try to survive till morning so please go back to bed. Chuks said are you kidding me?

Go back to bed so that you’ll start crying? Chika said I won’t cry please go back to bed. Chuks got out of bed and said you know what let me go check If we have yam and plantain in the kitchen. If we do I could cook it for you. Chika said Chukwuka please don’t. I want roasted yam and plantain not boiled.

Chuks said don’t worry I have an idea. Just promise me that you’ll at least taste it when I get back. Chika said well I’m hungry so I’ve got no choice and the kitchen is a complete turn off for me now. Chuks said just sit tight I’ll be back soon. As he was heading to the kitchen, Chika said Chukwuka I’m sorry for stressing you by 2am.

Chuks said it’s okay and besides it’s not you but the baby. The baby wants to eat roasted yam and plantain so let me get to work. I hope this baby won’t be born roasted as he or she just loves roasted things. Roasted corn, roasted plantain and yam.

Next would be roasted pap and groundnut. Chika said you are mocking me right? Chuks said far be it from me. I’m not. I’m just blowing off some steam and making light of a stressful situation. I’ll be right back.

30 minutes later Chuks returned from the kitchen with boiled yam and plantain and peppered sauce with lots of onions and utazi. Chika was surprised and said I didn’t know you could cook. Chuks said well now you know. Our domestic staff doesn’t live here so we’ve to make do with what we have.

Hope you don’t mind I let the yam and plantain burn a little so that it’ll have something close to a roasted taste. I added lots of pepper so you can eat it without feeling nauseous. Chika said thank you. Chuks said its okay take a bite and tell me what you think.

Chika took a bite and said it tastes great, thank you, you are a life saver. Chuks said great let’s watch some TV as we eat. Chika said we? Chukwuka said before nko is it only the baby that will eat? I cooked for three please let’s eat. Chika laughed and ate much to her relief.

Chuks took the plates back to the kitchen and came back and both of them went to bed. Chuks said to himself who knows what next will be on the menu. Lord please let me be ready.

Ij left for work feeling so sad. She met Chika and Chika said what’s wrong you look like you cried all night. Ij said it’s my father and started to sob. Chika took her to the ladies and Ij said I’m just finding it so difficult to say goodbye even after all these years.

I just began therapy and I feel so awful, I don’t know if I can continue. Chika hugged her and said it’s okay Ij, just breathe. You look like a nervous wreck. If you need a minute take it. I’m imagining what you must be feeling now; I just want you to know everything will be okay.

You feel a barrage of emotions colliding, from your father to Chigozie. You will have to sit down and separate them and deal with them one after the other. It’s okay to be overwhelmed but don’t let it override you please. Do I need to call your brother? Ij said no.

Chika said please get yourself together. I need to go outside because I’m feeling nauseous being here. Ij said it’s okay, you can go. I’ll be out in a minute. Chika walked to Chigozie’s office and said good morning sir. Chigozie said to what do I owe this morning greeting. I know you are mad at me. Chika said Ij is crying in the ladies. I think she needs a little time off. Chigozie stood up and said what’s wrong with her? Chika said ask her yourself before leaving his office.